The US Educator's Role in the Lives of Undocumented Immigrants

There has been increasing federal resistance to supporting undocumented immigrants in the United States (e.g. last month it was the DACA rescission and this past week it was the call to expedite deportations), despite the actions many states have and are taking to challenge these views.

Undocumented immigrants have been vilified by the national rhetoric; however, according to the non-profit, Define American, undocumented immigrants "pay $11.64 billion annually in state and local taxes", contribute "$12 billion annually to the social security trust fund" and when compared to their native-born counterparts, they are less likely to commit crimes and more likely to start businesses. Many of these undocumented families are here because they are victims of circumstance; still, immigration has highly positive social and economic benefits for host countries. So what can/should be done now? Discussions among educators have been both about how this federal resistance might impact the education sector and, more importantly, what the education sector can do to alleviate the problem. Education is a tool and schools its fertile ground to create change for undocumented immigrants while working within existing federal restrictions.

Despite the quasi-legal status of undocumented families, all children have a right to a public education. Fighting to provide children of these families a safe and supportive learning environment means to first be able to keep them in school. It begins by challenging the negative narrative and ending discriminatory punitive discipline practices that pull already vulnerable children out of the classroom and into the criminal justice system. This means training teachers on positive behavior interventions, constantly re-visiting the code of conduct, and working closely with law enforcement (especially by limiting their involvement on campus). To protect all students is a core component of the educator's role, both while they are in school and in anticipation of their lives upon leaving. The ability of undocumented immigrants to enroll in a post-secondary education varies by state; therefore, only 5-10% of undocumented high school graduates enroll in college. For this reason, educators (especially K-12 educators in states that prohibit undocumented students to access college) should also equip their undocumented students with information on how to better navigate the US legal and educational systems.

Creating a supportive school climate requires working both within and beyond school boundaries. Educators should leverage their rapport with families of other students to develop community understanding. Incorporating this information into school curriculum, educators can use anecdotes on the difficulties of being undocumented and explore all sides of the legal discourse surrounding the issue. Districts should invest in the capacity building efforts necessary to train teachers in critical pedagogy and equip their staff with the necessary tools and resources to support their most vulnerable students. Schools should partner with non-profit agencies, immigration lawyers, and potential employers, that students can be referred to on a case-by-case basis. The short-term objective is a more informed student population but the long-term outcomes include a welcoming climate within which all students can thrive.

Photo Credit: stellaresque42.tumblr.com

At the tertiary level, in the same manner that higher education institutions approach racial diversity, value should also be placed on cultural diversity (and diversity of nationalities). Not only can diversity enrich the educational experience of all students but universities today are competing in a global market and should feel a need to be equipped to operate as such. Universities in most states classify undocumented students as international students; therefore, institutions should see the presence of immigrants (no matter their legal status) as a benefit to the social and academic experience of all their students. By framing this as an internationalization issue and not merely a legal one, institutions should fight for pathways to admit undocumented students and allow them to compete with their documented international counterparts for scholarships, grants, and employment/research opportunities.

Now is not a time to feel debilitated by federal decisions but a time to act in spite of them.

Intersec[shun]ality

My Jackson Scholar mentor once told me that the way to take my disparate set of experiences and craft a narrative as a researcher is to always "bring it back to myself." Whether we are explicit about it or not, our work always has pieces of who we are within it. When I take on research projects, I'm seldom thinking about whether or not it will speak to the narrative that I am trying to weave together for the CV I hope to someday  🎤drop on a potential employer's desk. Instead, I mostly just try to follow what feels interesting, what I'm passionate about and, I suppose, subconsciously remain hopeful that my heap of instinctive decisions will later amount to a coherent story that depicts some ~accurate version of me.

However, when it came time for me to pitch myself at conferences or in grant applications, I had to dig deep to find that story. In an effort to take my mentor's advice, I looked at each of the projects I've been involved in to make sense of what part of them spoke to my identity. It is in this way that I identified the two strands of research I now distinguish as my focal areas: educational leadership for development in Africa and immigrant/non-immigrant education in the US. Both of these areas speak to the junction of privileged and oppressed cultural boundaries. (To "bring it back to myself", I'm an Ethiopian and a non-immigrant getting an education in the US.)

Of course, most PhD candidates don't quite operate this way and, as I'm learning now, it's with good reason.

I'm four years into my program and I'm finding myself grappling with things I thought I had figured out a long time ago. My dissertation is on transnational educational leadership within iNGOs working in Ethiopia. As I (literally) pedal through my interview data, slugging along the transcription of colorful conversations with my generous informants in iNGO offices in Ethiopia,  I am reminded of my internal conflict during my fieldwork: a conflict between my membership to the world of Ethiopians and my membership to the world of African diaspora/[non]immigrants in the US.

My study sites were extremely welcoming climates for me and quickly felt like home; however, there were many moments that were sure reminders of the distance that my [physical] return to my home country had not been able to diminish. I remember that one time they introduced me in a classroom as "the American-educated PhD candidate." I can tell from the pride in their voice that they mean to heighten the excitement around my presence but it also almost always served to break the sense of belonging that had been building in me, by othering me. My entire data collection process was riddled by the divergence of my perceptions of my place in Ethiopia from how Ethiopia felt about me.

Photo Credit: ww2.kqed.org

Lately, I've been caught between yet another pair of distinct worlds--one which tokenizes my participation in the race and immigration discourse as an African woman and the other which deems my diasporic sensibilities as not being African enough. A man once told me that African immigrants [should be] concerned with the plight of Africans and not the plight of Black people. His inability to reconcile the two worlds was truly staggering. There are so many moments like this that have forced me to take a stand on issues I hadn't previously thought deeply about. I'm suspended between worlds that see me as either Black, [non]immigrant, African, or Ethiopian, separately--unable to accept that an allegiance to one is not an abandonment of the other. While the world(s) stay(s) busy trying to tell me who I am, I'm grasping for pieces of myself that are familiar to me. I can't fit into any of the categories my conversations box me into.

A few days ago, my advisor reminded me that my lack of full access to any world has in some sense provided me with unique access to many worlds. Anthropologists refer to this as insider/outsider status. The idea is that by having one foot in two worlds, we're able to gain perspective of each without taking any nuances for granted in either. Insider status may give us full access to a world but can make us so close to things in that world that we become blind to that which we take for granted; whereas outsider status may mean having no access to another's world but can also provide the distance needed to recognize what is taken for granted by members of that world.

But how do we get inside or outside of a world? What determines membership to worlds like Black, [non]Immigrant, or African? Is there a common understanding by each member as to what this is? Or does each individual understand their membership differently? I'm leaning towards the latter. Take the world of "women" for example. You may argue that there is a biological requirement for membership into this world but the term "woman" may mean different things to each of us who identify as such. So I wonder then, if I can use this as a starting point to find comfort in my intersec[shun]ality.

Society will assert whether we are insiders or outsiders of any given world but perhaps the truth is that we each comprise of our own.

Law as a Looking Glass

Sometimes law is merely a reflection of a nation’s collective values. Policies are not always an echo of policy-makers’ hidden agendas. It’s important to remember that policy can be--and is meant to be--a product of the beliefs of the people it governs. We are so used to thinking of governments doing a bad job of representing their respective people that we forget that laws can be in place simply because much of the population is in agreement.

Of course, various stakeholders have a hand in the policy-making process so when policies fail, it is neither easy nor appropriate to place the onus on any one entity. This does not mean, however, that outcomes cannot be traced back to key influential (f)actors. And while scholars may not agree on the (f)actors most responsible for societal problems, too little attention is paid to the role played by our collective values.

The US context is a great example. American scholars have highlighted the influential role of elected officials and placed the onus of societal problems on the Supreme Court and, more specifically, key decisions that it made at crucial times in the nation's history. At their core, these scholars are veritably attributing society's shortcomings to the political system and/or the ideologies of elected officials and the majority of the justices, respectively. Let us not, however, discount that there was a community – from which these individuals arose – that also supports said values. Policy-makers may all have agendas that may indeed be a mere consequence of power-play but their decisions are not void of the system of beliefs that exists/existed in the nation.

Others have held responsible, the complicated ways in which issues come to the forefront, such as “purposive organizations” that influence what issues come to the attention of the Supreme Court. Interest groups, for example, have a direct influence on what is brought to the table. There is not enough consensus about the policy-making process amongst these particular scholars, to allow us to come to a conclusion about who/what is most responsible for things like inequity. Still we see one thing for sure: they overlook the backdrop of the public's social values or make the assumption that these values are not in line with that of the government's.

The influence of the public's values remains evident nonetheless. For example, let’s look at people’s actions in spite of the law. De jure segregation, for instance, had just as much to do with the law as it did with American values at the time. Even after Brown v. Education, many states worked hard to challenge and reverse the decision. When a law is passed that isn’t in line with existing values, it will not be supported. And if policy instruments are used to force values, society may abide but the shift in values is highly unlikely. Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (“prohibiting discrimination based on race, color, or national origin”) led to schools using quotas to ensure racial balance. Racial-balance was a political move but never really addressed the social problem--we are five decades out and still having some of the same conversations. When social values are not in line with the law, policies seldom stick.

This is not to say that all law represents the values of society but merely a reminder that some laws do. It is also not to say that law cannot change the values of society but that it is less likely than the reverse. Law representing the true views of the people it governs: a very simple and intuitive concept that we only seem to remember when a nation does well. When we have inequality, however, we blame broken systems and never an immoral society.

Agen[she]

The traditional/historic role of a woman in many societies (think: "the second sex") has often been solely conceptualized as that of a victim. Even the most progressive people I know only ever speak to the ways in which women have been unfairly treated in the home and the workplace both within and without marriage. I certainly don't wish to discount the various ways in which women were and still are victims (along with--and to a greater extent--many other gender identities). Instead, I'm trying to establish that we often take on deficit views of these, indeed marginalized, groups. It is almost a sense of pity that we feel perhaps partly because we are clouded by our discontent that is understandably roused by the injustice.

For me, these (albeit unintentional) condescending perspectives are not far removed from the very ones that oppress women to begin with. Many have discussed the ways in which women fought back--in fact, much is recorded on the stories of countless women who were responsible for revolutionary changes of a global magnitude (think: Wangari Maathai). Still, there are too few conversations about the ways in which women's strength to endure (and not just to fight back) is critically analyzed as an exercise of power in and of itself. I worry that in not having these conversations, we are instead conflating agency and resistance.

Can agency, instead, manifest itself as tolerance?

While some research has explored the trauma that stays with women from societies that box us into these traditional roles, not enough explores how we also possess power and creatively exploit it. This capacity may not rectify the circumstances of the oppressed but an appreciation of it allows society to move away from deficit perceptions of women who, in actuality, wield much power.

The resilience to endure oppression should not be used to excuse oppressive social or cultural practices but it should be appreciated as agency. As such, the contributions of women to society should not only be measured by the success of those who resisted but also those that found another way to fight.


"There are two ways to spread light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." -Edith Wharton        

La Recherche Pour La Recherche

A researcher's role is often driven by the consumption needs of the academic community, other researchers, policymakers, and/or practitioners. Research then becomes an attempt to address a perceived gap in knowledge, which is an externally dictated agenda. Recently, I’ve been witnessing professors pressed to ride the wave of scientific popularity by chasing after topics that are timely and/or lucrative.

Photo Credit: tate.org.uk

I took a Modern Art class in undergrad... it feels like it was ions ago but many things about this class really stuck with me. Prominent amongst which were l'art pour l'art and l'art pour l'artiste: French expressions that mean art for art['s sake] and art for the artist['s sake], respectively. The former is a progressive expression that captures the essence of movements in art built to eradicate the didactic element of art required by communities in the early 19th century (think James Whistler and impressionism). It revolves around the concept of doing away with social obligations and just creating something that is pleasing to look at. The latter is an even further deviation from what was traditional, in that it does away with even the need to please the audience. It is a concept that embraces the artist, and not merely the art. It is the belief that art should have no purpose at all, but just be an expression of the artist, in whatever shape or form the artist pleases (think Vincent van Gogh and post-impressionism). In the 20th century, this became the foundation on which movements like fauvism, cubism, and dadaism emerged... traces of these movements are still very much alive today. 19th century France is given credit for most of the revolutionary transitions that had to take place to lead to this and the game changers are always the ones that braved the fundamental questions: What is the purpose that art fulfills? Does it have a purpose at all?

Today, I find myself reflecting on this thought as a researcher. If we approach research with the same audacity as Marcel Duchamp’s approach to art, what would that do to our research agendas? What would it mean to conduct research for research’s sake? What if we did away with the need for researchers to publish in areas that would further elicit readership and funding? Can we be bold enough to explore agendas we set for ourselves? Can we let our own voices drive our research and not that of other academics and/or funding agencies? I fear that the academic community's incessant need to publish, to respond to calls in order to get in on popular discourse only accessible to academics takes something away from the research experience. And if so, I wonder what research institutions (academic or otherwise) can do to counter the current climate that is competing with this notion of research-dadaism?

Inferno of Intolerance

During my first semester here at Penn State University, two of my dearest friends suggested we go out to grab drinks at a local bar. We were all first semester, international graduate students and did not yet have our state IDs. The only form of identification we carried were our passports.

If you've ever walked down College Avenue, you know you can probably count on one hand the places that look exciting at first glance. Inferno is one from that handful. We had no prior knowledge about any of the restaurants/bars in the area, so the cozy outdoor lounge seating and the general ambience of this beautiful restaurant was enough to convince us to start our night there. Upon reaching the front door of Inferno, the bouncer first asked me for my ID (I was in front). I gave him my passport, which was valid for another 5 years and evidence that I was several years over the minimum drinking age. He proceeded to flip through it beyond the usual required search for my date of birth, as though to be searching for additional information. Noticing this, I asked him if something was wrong. He replied, "Where is your US visa?" My friends and I were thrown for a loop by this question and so asked why he needed to see my visa. He then casually went on to attempt to justify why he needed to see my visa before I entered the restaurant and bar.

Here's a completely unnecessary backstory for you:

My passport had been recently renewed. This meant that my US visa was stamped in my old passport, which I didn't bring out with me that night (because I didn't think bouncers doubled as immigration officers). Even if I had that passport on me, however, he would see that it is not a valid visa. It was valid when I entered the US but I entered the US years ago for a previous degree so my visa had since expired. I hadn't left the country in that time so I had no need (nor legal requirement) to renew it. My legal status is based on my I-20 (a contract with my educational institution) and not my visa. So not only is my visa non of his business but its expiration has no bearing on whether or not I can legally remain in the US.

I hope the question that you are asking at this point is, "why does your legal status even matter?" It doesn't! I'm trying to enter a bar, not cross the US border; and he's a bouncer, not border patrol.

My girlfriends and I tried to explain my situation and assuage the bouncer's legal concerns as best as we could but the bouncer said he was sorry and that "rules were rules." Of course I was furious, as were my girlfriends so we decided to walk away and find a bar that wouldn't ask about our immigration status (shout out to Zeno's, The Rathskellar, and Fuji & Jade Garden).

I wanted to write to the Inferno manager and complain but if the bouncer was acting on bar policy, I felt this would not address our concerns. I considered a more public platform, like Onward State, to have them showcase our experience instead: I wanted to publicly humiliate the bar the same way they publicly humiliated my friends and I outside that bar that night. Until finally, I calmed myself down, told myself it's just a bar, and made myself move past this without taking any action. Later, I also learned that the owner of Inferno also owns several other bars in the area that have actually treated me very well. A part of me was relieved that I hadn't shared my story publicly because I didn't want to implicate employees that might not have anything to do with the Inferno intolerance. Still, I was left feeling mistreated. I wasn't sure what to do at this point so I let it simmer... for a long time.

Since then, I've had several friends approach me with similar stories and about other bars in the State College area. Their accounts brought back the fury I felt that night many semesters ago. For many of my friends, these experiences against the backdrop of the current national rhetoric further exacerbated their anxiety that comes with being an immigrant/non-immigrant in today's America. I wouldn't be so ambitious as to say that my sharing this would resolve any of this; however, I do hope that we can begin a conversation about how we can better educate ourselves and our local community about who we are, and about our rights. That night in front of Inferno, I remember asking the bouncer, "...if you don't understand why this rule exists, how can you follow and enforce it? Why don't you question your manager?" Ill-informed, misinformed, or uninformed communities (local, immigrant, or non-immigrant--a topic for another post) breed dangerous climates for all. This is not about simply being denied access to a bar; it is about how this denial and exclusion is one of many symptoms of a much deeper division in the US. The already highly contentious issue of immigration in this nation has been further polarized by an administration that vilifies immigrants and non-immigrants alike. The narrowing categories of populations that are "welcome" in US society has created a chilling environment for the millions that don't "make the cut"--immigrants are just one of these many marginalized groups.

So I'm asking everyone in the State College community and beyond to speak up about these issues in an effort to address harmful practices by staying informed about our rights--especially at a time when polices are shifting so rapidly. A very dear friend of mine shared an American Civil Liberties Union flyer with me on Knowing Your Rights--this is a great place to start for those of you that just want to take a quick glance. I also recommend you visit the Center for Immigrants' Rights Clinic, directed by Dr. Shoba Wadhia for additional reading. I specifically urge you visit their page on Immigration After the Election. The Center for Education and Civil Rights, directed by Dr. Erica Frankenberg is also a great place to go digging for resources on fostering racial and ethnic equality and staying abreast of the related happy haps on campus and beyond. Global Programs is a decent resource when it comes to non-immigrant rights and responsibilities but they don't cater to the broader community (their focus is students) so I'd keep that in mind when you navigate their site. I'm sure you all have several ideas for other resources so I'll stop here and ask that you please use whatever platforms to which you have access, to begin sharing both local and national resources for folks to turn to.

That night we walked away swearing to never return to Inferno. It's been three years and we've kept our word.

Grey Eyes

You're only passing through: A phase in my long and lonely sequence of men perfected by my imagination.

There's so much that I don't know about you and that I'm convinced I don't want to know about you.

My hopeful desperate mind prefers to fill those gaps as it pleases... adding shine and glamour to the void left by the unknown.

Without the heart to allow me a chance to discover your truth, I'd rather dwell in the peace that comes with imagining you are perfect.

So I dwell.

I dwell in the perfection my mind has made you up to be.

And in those brief moments--those false and non-existent moments that are ever so present but only in my mind--I am happy.

Unbeknownst to you, I have married us off and put one child in your arms, while the other kicks from inside me... eager to meet the father I've created for him.

We are drunk in joy and life suddenly has meaning.

But then you send one of those purposefully short text messages that annoy the crap out of me.

I'm suddenly on a fabricated beach, playing wife with another man and 4 toddlers my mind had constructed in his image. I lay on my back and rest my head in my palms, marinating in my vengeful prowess.

Today you were sweet again.

As I felt my belly enlarge once more with the pieces of you I knew I always yearned, I stopped to think that I didn't miss the beach and those toddlers didn't feel as much a part of me as this belly that my mind drew so perfectly round.

This is what I feel that I should be carrying...

For now.

Poets and Paradoxes

Photo Credit: science.howstuffworks.com

Déjà vu
A blank sheet and
an aching pen
thirsty for the truth.

Déjà vu
A God so kind
but a spineless mind
I only write 

what I should do.

Déjà vu

Time has passed
but pain, it lasts
‘cause a poet is but a fool.

Déjà vu
I’ve no life to wheel
so I write to heal,
yet my world never improves.

Déjà vu
My words have changed
but they mean the same:
My world is blue.

Déjà vu

Mediocrity

I'm experiencing suffocating degrees of comfort.
But I'm struggling to understand the cause of my cozy respiratory failure.
My heartbeat is certainly present.
In fact, in the many moments I'm frozen still and staring into a space before me that isn't there… my heart knocks louder than the noise I left behind.

Perhaps I can breathe and I'm just choosing not to.
Yes. I'm holding my breath.
I'm waiting for something.
I don't know that I'd know it if it came but, I feel the need to wait.

I don't know that I ever want it to come because, I just want to wait.

Something is missing.
But I'm comfortable waiting. 

Only waiting.
Yes. This is fine.
I know how to be this.
I don't know how to be that.

I probably shouldn't keep asking them to love me for being that...
That which I am not.

I'm afraid of being that.

No. That's not it.

I'm afraid of failing to be that.
And if I succeed, I'd be afraid of failing to stay there.

But I'm terrified of staying as I am.
I don't want to be this.
I want to be that.

And them?
If they need a reason to love me, then they never will.

I want to be that.

But not for them.
I want to breathe for me.

I Found in Me

The dust settled;
the wind no longer blew;
and I found in me,
what had grounded me
but, to my surprise,
it wasn't you.

Eloquence.
Punctured only
by streams of sunshine
and the soothing sounds
of intricate drums.

Fear.
… infused with faith

and peppered with love

for the simple pleasures:
sips of coffee interrupted
by glances at pages
of leather-bound treasures.

Romance.
A firm obsession
with sincere expressions,
and an utter devotion
to hope.

Kinks and curls
of a story to be told,
by an independent voice
of a woman...
daring to be bold.

These are the things
I found in me.

It Is Written

The pen politely asks my wrist to dance.

I wrap my parched fingers around its neck, and clench my fist to quench my thirst.

My mind never outgrows the delusion that my two realities are really one and the same because it finds comfort in the idea that it can escape one to embrace the other. As though it can never belong to any world without ever getting the feeling of simply having had enough. So I succumb to the promiscious pen and we tango down a line, as I lose my mind to gain what is mine:

...freedom only found in pages. 

With this barrel of ink bleeding past my fingertips, I lay you down: the manipulative, confused and confusing of my two worlds. I've lost my freedom to you but today I gain it back because, I bleed in colors and textures you can never wash away. I bleed blue and black, I bleed front and back, cursive and CAPS…

I bleed intact.

int[rover]sion

There are brief moments of clarity in my clouds of mere existence. Most of the time I am uneasily staggering in the direction dictated by whatever wind is blowing hardest: deadlines, chores, people in need of attention. Once in a long while the winds fall silent, creating a brief moment without instructions as to where I should be or what I should be doing. It is in that fleeting span of time, I find, I'm most lucid.

I can see her at her clearest. She's no pretty sight but she is very familiar. And while she respects the powers of the winds, she is happiest when they do not blow. She is happiest not alone, but in the silences that punctuate her moments-with-company.

Word(s) to the Wise

I was propping myself up on the exam table at our University Health Services (UHS) when I noticed a troubling poster staring back at me. It read:

"Foreign travel is dazzling. Foreign disease is not. Travel Wise. Immunize here. Be safe there."

Do you see the problem there? Words are powerful, so let me break this down:

"Foreign travel is dazzling. Foreign disease is not." 

What exactly is "foreign disease"? Disease that can only exist in places outside of the USA? Disease that is unique to foreigners? "Foreign disease" separates non-Americans in a derogatory way. No disease is exclusively "owned" by foreigners. More importantly, is the implication here that "USA diseases" (whatever that may mean) are dazzling? No disease is dazzling.

"Immunize here. Be safe there." 

This suggests that immunization is only necessary when leaving America (which is a dangerous message to send), and secondly categorizes the rest of the world as a more dangerous place (when in truth there are several countries that outperform the USA in health indicators). Safety is not only a concern when leaving the USA. I can turn to any American news channel right now and give you 10-20 reasons why this is incorrect. Individuals should immunize based on the needs of the country they travel to because this may vary from the vaccination requirements for the USA; however there are immunization and safety concerns in any country--even if to varying degrees and types.

Now I'm all about constructive criticism so I've taken the liberty to draft a less offensive version:

"[all] Travel can be dazzling. Diseases never are. Travel Wise. Be safe and immunize wherever you are. "

Voila, UHS. There you have it. Now please take that thing down.


Update: I emailed my concerns to the Medical Director at the time and UHS has since taken the poster down. They were also extremely respectful in their response to my request. 

Story Sorting

I used to enthusiastically flounder my way through many conversations about The Godfather. I often said something like, "Al Pacino is a great actor" or, "It's a classic" or the awkward, "What scene was that? It's been so long, I don't remember the details". A couple of years ago, I decided to "refresh" my memory and watch it "again". To my shame, I realized that I had never seen it! I had just taken part in so many conversations about it, that I had convinced myself of my watching it as a child. Instead, I couldn't recognize a single scene. Needless to say, I was completely blown away by it.

Photo Credit: dailypaul.com

My favorite scene has to be after Michael returns from hiding and he's trying to win Kay back. He relates Kay's concerns about his family's business to that of any system involving power:

Michael: My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.   

Kay: Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't have men killed. 

Michael: Oh. Who's being naive, Kay?

There's this underlying ethical conflict that is carried through-out the movie. It deconstructs your ideas about good and bad by developing Michael's character to the point where you start to relate to him. At the end of the movie [spoiler alert], you'll find yourself fond of a new Don that just had the heads of all the other families killed, and ordered for his brother in law to be choked to death only to lie to his wife about it. It speaks both to how well the story was told and how complicated human nature really is.

While movies (and to a similar extent, books) are categorized by genre, I've found that it can be just as useful to categorize them by how they're told--as opposed to what they're telling. Consider my storytelling approach typologies:

• Storytelling Using a Moral: This is probably where a lot of the movies that reach the box office would fit in. These movies focus on very simple and basic concepts like "good guy always wins" or "forgiveness is good" or "family is important". There's a moral or lesson in the story. Stories in this category also tend to be (while not always) very easy to follow and have nothing too complex in how they play out. Tyler Perry movies are a quintessential example.
• Storytelling Using a Character: Some stories work primarily on character development. It's not so much that they don't have a "moral of the story" but it's more that it's not the ultimate focus. The Godfather is a perfect example. A lot of time is spent on showing the various elements to Michael Corleone's personality and motives. At the end of it, we don't have a clear idea of what we've learned but we're blown away nonetheless.
• Storytelling Using a Philosophy: My brother helped me coin this one. These are stories that unfold to explore a concept. They don't have a strong focus on a lesson or a character. A great example is Cloud Atlas. I would also argue that The Matrix would fit well in this category too. Similar to the first two categories, it doesn't mean these stories are clear of any lessons or character developments but that its not the core of what they're about.

Like genres, there could be great overlap here but there's always one approach that will outshine the others. Many action movies tend to have elements of romance and/or drama, for instance, but they are labeled as action movies because that is the more prominent element. In some cases, romance might even be what is driving the action but we are still in agreement that the movie belongs in the Action aisle. In much the same way, the story telling approach is easy to detect because one--a moral, a character, or a philosophy--always stands out more. 

Tech Therapy

I purchased a new computer this week (the 13-inch Macbook Pro: 2.6GHz with retina display in case you're curious) and I spent a considerable chunk of my day getting it prepped for the perils of a PhD program. It's a delightful beast, but a beast nonetheless. Between reformatting my external hard drive, digging up product keys, transferring and backing up data, and the monster of them all: gaining wireless access, I'm all Mac'd out. It's a wonder how the IT service help desk attendant endured the process... because of course, I did none of the work (unless you count sustaining high morale and energy levels, that is). I'm Mac'd out from watching him do all the work for me :)

Photo Credit: support.communitylibrary.org

Needless to say, I was at the desk for a good few hours, during which time I had the opportunity to get a feel for what kinds of things tech folks deal with on a daily. If you ever thought your hair stylist/barber or bartender is a therapist... think again. These guys get everything from boyfriend trouble (that's when a complaint about a boyfriend that was careless with a device turns into an entire conversation about a questionable relationship) to financial trouble (often when a question about a decision on purchasing a device turns into a full blown financial advising session). I'm pretty sure I even heard someone recapping a job interview. Through all of this, the IT service help desk attendants were calmly and supportively prying apart hard drives to examine them and testing/retesting computers in all possible stages of care and existence, all the while listening to their customers' problems (technical or otherwise).

It's essentially the hairstylist/bartender and customer relationship without the tip or gratuity-included bills. Now, I don't know how your IT support operates, but in many University settings the fee is covered by a charge on your account called "technology fee" or something to that effect. Consequently, IT help desk staff don't get half the love other unsanctioned therapists do. Instead, they are often brushed off for being socially inept or awkward. How is that fair? 

So I ask, nay, I urge you to consider doing the following the next time you thank your IT helper:

1. Utilize official feedback surveys (or other formal avenues for feedback)
2. Notify the supervisor that you had a great experience with that particular employee
3. Ask your IT helper how he/she prefers you provide feedback
4. Send the IT office a thank you email mentioning your IT helper by name
5. If you don't want to take the time to do any of the first four, at least be explicit about what they did well and why that was important to you when you say thank you. This will hopefully separate your comment from the often aloof "thanks" they probably hear from everyone. 

N.B. This is probably good practice for all your customer service experiences. 

The Resurgence

So apparently owls steal cats. True story. A Pennsylvania farmer told me that one nicked his in the middle of the night. "They're silent criminals," he testified, "one could swoop its prey up from right behind you and you wouldn't even know it!"

I still struggle with the idea of a feathered carnivore, so getting past the fact that these ones can lift felines will take time.

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My last post was exactly one year ago and a single entry can never do any full year justice, let alone the one I've had. The most drastic of developments being my move to Central Pennsylvania (Happy Valley). With the knowledge that this experience will color all my posts from here on out--as it has my thinking in general--what better way to break the ice?

Tangent: Speaking of ice, we're knee-deep in that stuff here. 

So I've gone from urban to... well... valley, really. DC's low rise office buildings have been replaced with the highly mountainous Pennsylvanian horizon. The void created by the absence of DC's venturesome squirrels is now filled with sizable but unassertive bunnies. Come to think of it, a similar parallel can be drawn about the human inhabitants as well. Motor vehicles have doubled in size and public transit has dropped to the least utilized form of transportation. I've heard that everything is bigger in Texas but, Central Pennsylvania is no place for moderation either. Certainly not in the weather department (but I won't get into that right now because I just might start crying). Even "small talks" are full blown conversations here. The only things "smaller" in Central Pennsylvania are the cab fares. With half the DC price and none of the DC attitude, I must say that cab rides are quite the pleasant experience here. There has to be a study done somewhere to show a correlation between community population and attitude. It's as though we see less of a need to be mindful of our human interactions when there's too many to be had.

I digress.

For a state with as dark a racial history as Pennsylvania, this valley is a unique gem. The sense of community here defies any trajectories that can be made from its past. I'm constantly blown away by the kindness and support that exists here, so as a formal introduction to my home away from home, I wanted to list some of what puts the happy in Happy Valley for me. Here goes (in no particular order):

1. Still mornings. The beauty of a University town is that dawn is avoided like the plague--with the sparse exceptions of students struggling to make it home after a night out or morning shift workers that haven't a choice in the matter. After years of the early morning hustle and bustle of Chocolate City, daybreak in Happy Valley is my epitome of tranquility.
   
   
2. Stars (cosmic; not hollywood). With little interference from city lighting, the skies are less bashful about shining down in Happy Valley.
   
   
3. Vanilla Chai Lattes at Saint's Cafe. Go for the large. They won't be able to serve it to you in the pretty "for here" mugs--those only come in small/medium--but the extra latte is worth enduring the paper cup experience.
   
   
4. Egg, Pesto & Cream Cheese Sandwiches at Cafe Lemont. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
   
   
5. All things Webster. No, really: All things.
   
   
6. Pattee Library Quiet Study Area. Wooden furniture, warm lighting and all the desk space you need... in silence. Need I say more?
   
   
7. The Architecture building. If the unique interior construction doesn't enthuse you, the fact that the first floor restrooms have changing/shower rooms definitely will.
   
   
8. Collaboration > Competition. I'm speaking strictly about the academic sphere here (and within that, my experience with my department alone). Don't get me wrong, I'm all for healthy competition. The issue I have is when competition becomes the only way we know how to move forward (I know of entire communities in DC that operate in this way). The danger is that goals shift from being about the project to being merely about personally getting ahead. In my experience here, the identification of others with the same interests/goals is seen as an opportunity to collaborate, not scheme. Of course, in situations where competition is the nature of the game (grant applications, employment opportunities, etc), they bring it :)
   
   
9. Agriculture. I'm not entirely sure that I can completely capture this category, but the combination of the many farms, vineyards, tree nurseries, and just open fields sets both a beautiful and comforting backdrop to this welcoming community.
   
   
10. The appreciation of bottom-up community leaders (and yes, I saved the best for last). This is hands down, one of my most favorite things about Happy Valley. For those of you that are familiar with the area, I'm talking about the Russes (Mount Nittany Medical Center) and Mikes (University Park Post Office) of Happy Valley. If you don't know what I mean, think CNN Heroes. Individuals that are living proof that our impact is not defined by our roles/circumstances, but by what we do with what we are given. These unheralded leaders of Happy Valley--our Russes and Mikes--fuel our community from the crevices of their humble positions. Their existence is not unique to Happy Valley, but the respect and appreciation they receive here is. 

Photo credit: mtnittany.org

Looking Glass

To a girl I used to know,

I saw a beautiful portrait this morning.

She had sad eyes, but her smile maintained a sense of airy simplicity. I examined her elusive presence and tried to breathe her in, but all I could see was you. I couldn't let go of you enough to embrace her; so I stood there staring vacantly.

They always said you were the naive one. I suppose to some extent, that is true. But your sensitivity to what others find mundane and your ability to appreciate what they take for granted is not a lack of sophistication; it's wisdom. Sometimes the world is more accurate through the eyes of a child. I miss that about you.

You think you're restrained by your fear of what you cannot accomplish; but I now know that you're restrained by your fear of what you can. In time you'll learn that while you crave all the comfort in the world, you are at your best when you are far from it. You shine when you are in turmoil.

Never give out of obligation. You think they're grateful, but you'll have missed the point.

Your most life changing moments will be when you are most exposed. Embrace the humility.

That man. He's not for you. Walking away doesn't always make you a bad person; sometimes it makes you a wise one.

The day you learn to invest in yourself is the day you will have understood that you are most deserving of your own time.

That man will come again.

And again.

And again.

You will see his core doesn't change. His essence doesn't change. And he will always be attainable. He may not be as tall, as dark, as handsome, or nearly as well dressed; but when the time comes for you to receive him, he'll be what you need.

Watch those shoulders. They're starting to get stuck behind your ears. Loosen up.

The end will always terrify you. It's not because your soul is misguided. It's because you have attached yourself to the footing of your happiness. God is so real to you that you see His face in the life around you. Don't work so hard to uproot your fears. They're necessary.

Be great. If you fall short, try again.

Live each day with purpose and on purpose.

Buy all the quirky mugs you like and don't let a blank piece of paper out of your sight without jotting something down. Write for me. I need you to speak. I need you to process. But live past your pages. Live in spite of your pages. Just live.

As those sad eyes began to water, I broke contact and took a breath.

I was never meant to let you go. I'm meant to embrace you further.

You're not a girl I used to know. You're a girl I'm getting to know better.

Photo Credit: flexwi.com

The DMV Passenger Seat

It's been an interest of mine to write a book on the wonders of public transportation in the DC metropolitan area. In fact, I'm sure a thrilling book can be written on this topic in almost any setting, given the right narrative and perspective. DC just happens to be my only home away from home - and as I've recently come to admit, the place with which I can most closely identify.

So in the mean time, I felt the need to scratch my itch by posting this blog.

It must have been back in the spring of 2006, when I first took a Sociology course. A handful of my classmates and I volunteered to help our instructor with a research project he had been tasked with. We were to map Washington, DC metro stations across various social indicators. The shifts in trends as  you go from the North West quadrant to the South East quadrant were drastic (and in some cases negative) even for that time. It's fair to assume it would have been an even steeper gradient pre-gentrification. The pros and cons of the (often forced) migration of District residents is a topic for another conversation - but whatever your stance may be on that subject, you have to admit that having diversity (no matter what indicator you're looking at) makes for an interesting bus/train ride. Of course some indicators are a lot more entertaining than others. In DC at least, I would argue that age and culture are certainly up there.

My mind goes back to a gentleman that a southbound S4 bus picked up from the U street area. He must have been somewhere around 5 5" or 5 6" in height. Unshaved, it was nearly impossible to make out his features hidden behind the long and curly bush of hair that populated his face. It was almost as though his small and bloodshot eyes were peering through an unkempt veil. He sported a colorful t-shirt and shorts, with a matching backpack. I was having trouble reconciling the contradiction between his appearance from the neck up and his appearance from the neck down, when he placed himself next to an expensively dressed woman that must have been well in her 80s. Almost immediately, he very comfortably placed one arm over her shoulder and rested it on the back of her seat - kind of like something out of a disturbing date scene in a romantic comedy. The woman kept her face turned away but would slowly look at the man from the corner of her eye, all the while shifting away from him in her seat. Within 10 minutes she was at the edge of her seat but, he kept leaning in closer. What she couldn't see was that the man had fallen asleep! By the time we got to her destination, he was literally asleep on her shoulder and didn't even wake up when she got up from her seat!

Photo Credit: www.wjla.com

I must say, in my limited experience, there's nothing like a trip on the S4 or the 70 for some entertainment. I was waiting on the 70 in downtown Silver Spring one sunny afternoon, beside an elderly Ethiopian lady dressed in a long colorful dress and "netela" - a traditional shawl. A young woman walked past and did a double-take, stopped dead in her tracks, then looked closer at the Ethiopian lady's dress. "Wow - that's beautiful", she told her. "Eh?", the Ethiopian woman said, scrunching up her face in complete confusion. The young woman stepped closer and repeated herself, "I said, that's a beautiful dress". The Ethiopian lady also leaned in as though it was her ears that were failing her, and not her command of the English language, "Ehhh?". After the young woman paraphrased for the third time, the Ethiopian lady nodded. Once the young woman walked off, the Ethiopian lady turned to me and said, "Mindinew yemitilegn, lidjay?" - which is Amharic for, what is she saying to me, my child? I smiled and explained the young woman's compliment. "Wiy, wiy, wiy, wiy…", she began to say in disappointment, "tenk yew-im salilat?" - which means, I didn't even get to say thank you! except, she actually knew to say the words "thank you" in English.

A few months back, I was on the Purple Charm City Circulator in Baltimore when a young man boarded the bus looking tired and beaten, with clothes that looked like they had been through a shredder. He slowly made his way to the back of the bus, and sang, to date, the most beautiful rendition of Musiq Soulchild's "Teach Me" that I've ever heard. We gave him a standing ovation.

Of course, there are also the less attractive incidents. I believe I was waiting on the 10 (a county bus) in Hilandale, alone - or so I had thought - when I suddenly got a whiff of… well, how do I say this? It was like someone just opened the doors to an overused public bathroom stall. The fumes were coming at me slowly but without mercy. I calmly turned around, terrified of what I may find behind me. A woman was squatting a short distance behind me, staring me dead in the eyes with her chin pressed against her chest. I quickly noticed the trail of urine coming my way from beneath her and stepped out of the line of fire, then turned back around like I didn't see a thing. When my bus came, I jumped on board without ever looking back.

The rude and disrespectful passengers can be just as bad as being stared down by a creepy woman relieving herself… but, as an email forward I received today said, "the pleasure in anything, is the attitude towards it". So I choose to be grateful for the young boys that help carry a stroller onto a bus for a mother they've never met before, the old woman that helped calm someone else's cranky toddler simply by singing to him from where she was sitting, the bus drivers that don't drive off until the elderly passengers have taken their seats, the regular riders that help guide the new bus drivers that are not sure about what route to take, and the millions of people that give up their seat for the comfort of another person.

There's something isolating about personal vehicles. Public transportation, while much less convenient, is always the heart of where a community truly interacts. There's just no other place where you get that physically close with so many members of the community over such an extended length of time.

Putting Pride in its Place

For some time now, I've been looking for ways to deal with my pride. Of course, there have been many instances that I've considered it a quality; however, it would be foolish not to acknowledge its darker elements. Those of you that are of Christian faith, may even recognize it from the list of seven cardinal sins; but I'll refrain from approaching the topic from this angle. You may all have your own reasons as to why you would like to be more proud and less prideful. Mine stem from what I know it's keeping me from becoming. I know I have a lot of potential but, I'm also well aware that there are things in my nature that prevent me from realizing this potential. Pride happens to be one of the many.

I decided to compile bits and pieces of advice from role models in my life and lessons from personal experiences... resulting in a manageable, acrostic list :) of [mostly mental] exercises that I use to try and keep myself in check. I'm sharing this as a way to continue to keep that up (and perhaps to solicit some comfort in the hope that I'm not alone).

Here is what I have so far: 

1. Proclaim: Denial is not just a river in Ethiopia (N.B. this too, is geographically accurate). Accept what must change. Ask people closest to you to describe your pride (candor is of the essence), and make sure to get examples of situations that would illustrate their assessment. This will help make their comments more convincing to you. Personally, I struggled with this Catch-22: I was too proud to admit that I'm proud. In the end, I found that I needed to hear it from several people before I could learn to accept my truth. This is an easier step than a public proclamation... like a blog post, for instance :)
2. Recognize: Pride is sneaky and manifests itself in many different ways (both negative and positive). Make sure you understand what about your pride is negative and how it manifests itself for you. For example, someone with low self-esteem can be too proud to admit that they need help feeling better about themselves. For most of us, we need to dig a little deeper to really understand what's going on. And those of us that live behind countless layers, need the help of someone that knows us really well and loves us anyway, to help us with the digging. 
3. Invalidate: Take a step back. Often times, pride stems from an inaccurate perception of reality. Expose it for what it is. Invalidate its source.  
• Example 1: What should have been a mere "pat on the back" may grow into a superior perception of self. I mean, can we really take complete ownership of our successes? Or is it more principled to accept that many other things (outside of our control) had to be in place for us to achieve what we did? If I'm losing you on this one, I suggest you read "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. Sure we all vary in aptitude, discipline, talent… and the list goes on. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't feel a sense of pride from your accomplishments; instead I'm saying don't allow yourself to become hubristic. For me, taking a step back always does the trick. Gain sight of your true place in the universe: "Yes, I worked hard to acquire my promotion; but that pivotal proposal would not have been approved had my colleague not helped me meet the deadline". This, to me, is an example of what differentiates pride in its positive form from pride in its negative one.
• Example 2: Sometimes this superior sense of self gets us to act in a less intuitive way. For some of us, being prideful means that we feel we are too good to make mistakes. So in the instances that we do, we are too proud to admit it. This too, is an example of having a superior sense of self. Take a step back. Think of someone that you feel is like you: too good to make mistakes. This is usually someone you idolize, or think of as a role model. Then, make time to speak with them about the errors they've made in their lives (trust me, they will have many). And you'd be surprised how much people are willing to share. Convince yourself that they too are capable of making mistakes; that being a good person, or being a successful one doesn't mean being free of mistakes or imperfections. It means striving in spite of them. Relate this back to how you think of yourself. You are no less of a person for having imperfections; instead, you are better off for having accepted them.
4. Devote: Find a way to always keep this bigger picture in mind. Devote some time to a regimen: It could be prayer, it could be yoga, it could be exercise (mental or physical), or a morning routine that allows you to quieten your mind. Use this time to remind yourself of your goal, regularly. In undergrad, a counselor once told me to (literally) paint a picture of my goals and hang it up in my room. Every morning I would wake up and it would be the first thing I see. I made the Dean's List that semester.
5. Evaluate: Go back to your loved ones that helped you identify and understand your pride to begin with. Talk to them about how you could have handled things better. Have them help you recognize when you're going down that path again. I'm not here yet but I'll let you know how this goes.

I don't know about you but, I take great pleasure in chucking my to-do lists when I'm done with them. There's nothing like the feeling of crossing something off a to-do list. Unfortunately, this just isn't that kind of list. It's the kind that you may never really cross off because, you'll find that you need to revisit each item regularly. At least, that's been true for me thus far.

Flying Dog

She's silent but violent,
so he allowed her to settle;
... then choked her with one hand
while the other clutched metal.

Photo Credit: ridistributing.com

She was sweating profusely,
like something is brewing inside her,
but she kept herself calm;
she's a lover, not a fighter.

She stared back and waited
bubbling but jaded,
until her head flew off and she was open wide,
for the wild man to suck her dry.

He glanced at her body,
though briefly, he'd loved her,
then stood up and walked off
to ask for another.